2006 DIGIgraphics Fantasy Football League

DFFL News - Vol. XV, Issue XXXV

Grand Final Edition

For release Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

Undead Peace Activists win it all

Mean Machines capture 3rd place

SchadenfreudeWeasels win Consolation Bracket again.

Game Summaries;

The Governor's Cup Grand Final  at Ulaistai, Mongolia

Undead Peace Activists 39,  West Coast Gerbils 38  It was an emotional and speechless Undead Peace Activists (10-5) coach Rick Howell as he accepted his first Governor's Cup while doing the traditional throat-slitting gesture in Uliastai on Monday night - moments after they held on to defeat the West Coast Gerbils (10-6) who once again came up short in their 3rd attempt to capture the most coveted prize in all of sports.  The crowd of about 75 were curious, and most were well behaved, except for the 15 or so UPA fans who, as usual, clashed with authorities.  League officials blamed the smaller than expected turnout on the Christmas holiday, but one of the local elders claimed the small crowd was simply due to a lack of interest in football in general.  Even the free giveaway of more than 7,500 tickets that were purchased by Gamblers coach Jim Gaffney last week failed to draw any additional interest, as most of them were used to stoke bonfires.

In what was a disappointingly clean contest it was QB Marc Bulger (388 yards - 4 TD's = 22 points) who lead the way for the Activists, but it was RB Frank Gore who took home Playoff MVP honors for his workmanlike efforts (196 yards, 3 TD's= 22 points in 2 games) in the post season.

Afterwards, both Gerbil coach John Williams and his "playoff consultant/bandwagon jumper" Tim Kelly pointed fingers at one another in blame for the Gerbils performance, as Kelly once again distanced himself from the losing coach mere moments after the final whistle.   Despite the loss, Williams still insists he will be going to DisneyWorld after the game.  This was the third Grand Final in league history to be decided by a single point.

Vanier Cup at St. Pierre, St. Pierre & Miquelon

Mean Machines 38, Gamblers 27  Balanced scoring was enough to vault Mean Machines (9-7) to the Vanier Cup 3rd place award, as they easily defeated a disinterested Gamblers (10-5) squad who lost their 2nd straight game after winning 8 in a row to finish the season.  Attendance figures for the game are not yet available, as the game was played in a heavy fog, although guestimates put the figure at about 25 people.  The Gamblers locker room was filled with strife and dissent afterwards as it was RB Ladell Betts who took several less-than subtle shots at coach Jim Gaffney. The two coaches refused to shake hands afterwards, after winning coach Shannon Kelly "accidentally" clotheslined Gaffney as the two clubs were coming out to start the second half.  Kelly also expressed his resentment at not being named the Associated Press' Athlete of the Year wondering aloud "what did Tiger Woods do that was so special"? 

The result marks the second time Mean Machines have placed third overall, while the 4th place result by the Gamblers was their best since a third place finish in 2003.  

Weasel Bowl Consolation Bracket Final at Amparafaravola, Mozambique

SchadfenreudeWeasels 28, Flaming Liberals 22   SchadfenreudeWeasels (8-8) salvage something out of the season by winning the trophy named in their honor for the second consecutive year, defeating a Flaming Liberals (6-10) club that appeared to be mailing it in (see below).  Liberals coach Brian Strempke didn't even bother making the trip, although DFFL News has learned that Strempke may have traveled to Ambohitsilaozana, Madagascar by mistake. 

While most of the Weasel players returned to the U.S. on Tuesday morning, DFFL News has learned that coach Bill Hurley has been kidnapped by local insurgents  No reason has been given and no ransom demand had been made as this issue went to press. 

Bogus Move of the week;  While no one ended up costing themselves a win, Flaming Liberals go out on a low note, by sitting RB Mike Bell (69 yards, 1 TD = 6 points) instead of Brandon Jacobs (0 touches) and also starting inactive WR Darrell Jackson in their 6 point loss.  West Coast Gerbils didn't help their chances any by starting the inactive-now unemployed Marcus Robinson.