2004 DIGIgraphics Fantasy Football League

 DFFL News - Vol. XIII Issue XXXIII

For release Tuesday, December 28th, 2004

Orange Mac wins it all

Lambeau's Leap edges Mountain Magic for third 

Game Summaries    

Orange Mac 39, Mean Machines 33  Gonaives, Haiti  "It's great to be me, and even greater not to be any of you!"  were the first words out of the mouth of victorious coach Troy Erhman, as he did the traditional throat-slitting gesture while accepting the Governor's Cup Trophy as Orange Mac (8-8) completed one of the most amazing turn-arounds in the history of sports by winning their final 6 games to run the table, knocking off Mean Machines (9-7) in a spirited Grand Final 39-33 as newly acquired RB Larry Johnson scored twice on Saturday to win Playoff MVP honors. During the trophy presentation Erhman attempted to greet the Haitian President Boniface Aleaxander in Spanish, apparently unaware that Spanish is not spoken in Haiti.  Once the mis-understanding was cleared up, Erhman decided to give his opponent a German lesson,  "repeat after me - Ich bin ein LOSER" was the message he kept repeating.

Moments after the trophy presentation emergency personnel whisked Erhman and his team to safety as opposing coach Shannon Kelly was seem roaming around the stadium with a large quantity of explosives and ammunition strapped to himself.  The game's start was delayed by 20 minutes as Kelly burst into the stands just before kickoff and started beating on a group of fans carrying Orange Mac 3:16 signs.  He is currently in a standoff with local militia, and was unavailable for any post game comments. Kelly also has declared country the country under Martial Law.

The game flowed back and forth as the Machine jumped into the lead on Friday thanks to Donald Driver, while Orange Mac rallied back on Saturday as Johnson and Jerry Porter each found the end zone - making up for Billy Volek's miserable afternoon........The Mac finally settled the issue with LaDanian Tomlinson 2 TD's on Sunday  .

Despite the many lead changes, most of the 6934 fans in attendance seemed disinterested in the game, perhaps in part due to Erhman's brutal rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, and the Haitian National anthem, as many fans who remained appeared to be disoriented and nauseous.  The were approximately 900 no-shows for the game, as brokers were attempting to sell the remaining available tickets for 40,000 Gourde (roughly $1000 US) - which is about  60% of an typical Haitian's annual salary.  With the country now under Martial Law, it is unclear if (or when) Orange Mac will be able to return to the US. 

Lambeau's Leap 49, Mountain Magic 47 Shkodra, Albania - Despite being shorthanded, Lambeau's Leap (11-4) held on to capture their first Vanier Cup by defeating hated rival and former World Champions Mountain Magic (8-7).  

The conclusion of the hard fought game was marred by a barrage of gunfire from the scores of security that surrounded the field throughout the game.   As the two coaches were at midfield to shake hands, Magic coach Jim Strempke accidentally tripped on a piece of sod that had been kicked up, momentarily losing his balance---causing the guards to think that Leap coach Tom Nilles was attempting to wrestle Strempke to the ground - the guards immediately began to open fire indiscriminately - Killing at least 45 fans and seriously wounding both coaches.  A local authority in charge of security has blamed Nilles entirely for the incident, and reports that he will be taken into custody if he survives. 

Lambeau Leap took the field with only 8 players as coach Nilles released his 6 reserves before gametime.  Nilles claims the move was designed to send a motivational  message to the team, but DFFL News has learned he was attempting to save on having to give those players a full playoff share.  Magic coach Strempke refused to talk to the media afterwards, but did issue a statement on the Commissioner Online Message Board. 

Coming Soon:  These two contests, plus all of the Governor's Cup Playoff highlights will be available on DVD in the coming weeks.  The video - narrated by Gilbert Gottfried the voice of DFFL Films - is titled "A Series of Unfortunate Events" and will chronicle Orange Mac's chase to the title, plus league outtakes and bloopers.

Fantasy Fun Fact #85 - This is not the first time a #6 seed has won it all, nor is it the first time a club with a sub .500 record has made it all the way to the top.  The 2000 Fish Hook team (coach: J.D. Lewis) snuck into the Governor's Cup as the #6 seed with a 6-7 regular season record, and won three straight.  This is the third time that a first year team has won the title, joining Fish Hook, and Jerry Rogers 1991 Lunge Lizards.